19.4.09

Oh, holy hell

This is short.

I made a mistake on Friday. My Him was whipping me, and oh, how it hurt. I held on as best as I could - I tried to remember that he'd never hurt me more than I could manage, but I finally said, "Please, baby, please, no more."

The beating stopped, and I could almost hear him do the same. He paused and took a breath. "What did you say to me?" he asked, and I could hear the anger in his voice. Before I could respond (and I knew better but I can be willful) he told me, "You're getting 5 more. And you will count them down."

I waited, waited to receive another lash, when he said, "Go." I started, "One." Oh, the anger in him was so strong...

I made it to 4 without collapsing. Down off my elbows, tears mixing with the sweat running down my face, I could only mouth the word 5.