Meme

Because this is making the rounds on the internet, I'll give it a go. Despite the fact that I gave you factoids in the below post. If you get tired of learning about me, blame her.

1. I am the youngest of three children. More than being the youngest, I am an afterthought. My mother figured she had it done when she produced first, a male child, and second, a female child. Wasn't that the traditional route? Yet, a few years later, she got knocked up with me. She didn't want another child; it took her mother telling her over and over again that this final child would be the one with which my mother would be closest. It's odd to think that had Roe v. Wade already been the law of the land, I wouldn't be here.

2. Back in the days before DVRs, my father would tape the low-grade porn that was on HBO and Cinemax. In those days, when I was what is now called a tween, I would tape Bugs Bunny movies and other things of that nature. I remember watching something I taped, and waking up to his version of porn. It certainly informed my ideas of the relationships between men and women. It didn't help that he would tell me about my parents' sex life. Now, years and years later, I find myself more open than I probably should be.

3. I absolutely love living alone. I never want that to change. I came by living alone later than many of my friends, and I think I love it more than they do. I am a very private person (yes, I also read what I wrote above). One of the numerous reasons why I love my Him is because even if we were to marry, we don't intend to live together.

4. I keep most relationships at arm's length. Most of my closest friends live far away from me. I prefer it that way. I can control the amount of information they have about me because they don't see my day-to-day life. One of my biggest fears (and one I think about exploiting) is that the people I love the most could read my thoughts. Yet, I have three of the best women in the world as my closest friends. They know my heart and my desires, and I'm so grateful for them. And, another again, they all know me in different ways. And I'm fairly certain that they'd all hate each other if they knew each other.

5. I've lived in eight states so far. This may be one of the reasons why I don't get close to many people. For about a decade or so, my family would move every two years. I've lived other places as well, but since I'm now here, this is where I focus. I don't want to move again, but there's a very good chance that another move or two is in the cards. I don't like starting over. I don't like my lifestyle complacency.

6. When I was in college, I came dangerously close to being car-jacked. I was driving myself and some friends home from a night of dancing and drinking, and as we came to a stoplight, a guy started to get out of the passenger's seat in the car behind us, and approach my car. I'm so glad I noticed, because I just ran that light, locked the doors, and settled in to drive. What I really wanted was for a cop to pull me over. Dumb, to a certain extent, because I had been drinking. I thought that a cop would protect us. As it turns out, my ability to drive fast saved us.

7. My worst experiences: a) I dated a boy in high school who hit me. Not in a way that would be visible to others; he would throw me into tables, or anything with sharp edges. I provoked him by flirting with others. This doesn't mean it was my fault, but I surely didn't improve the situation. He tried to apologize to me years later, but as it turns out, an apology that comes from rolling doesn't do anything. b) I was friends with a guy years ago who spoiled me rotten. I knew that he was interested in more than friendship, but I wasn't. I was also very self-centered back then, and too self-assured. One evening he slipped something into my drink. I didn't know I'd been raped until over twelve hours later, and by then, there was no evidence. Also, I knew that there was no way I could prove the case. About five years later, I was meeting a friend to celebrate her birthday and she didn't tell me that he was there. That was the end of that friendship. c) Yeah, I'm not telling you this story. It's more than I can do.

It's entirely possible that I will remove this post in about five minutes.

A request

Several of you have asked me more about myself. So, for a break in my usual writing, here are some things I'll share:

- I am a girl. I really, really am. Unless I like you though, no, I will not prove it.

- I can write in mirror writing.

- I play guitar left-handed. And not well. I also play piano, and when I was in school, I played cornet.

- I have the patience of a toddler. Often, the attention span of one as well.

- I am currently reading What Is The What by Dave Eggars and American Eve by Paula Uruburu. The Eggars book is really good, although difficult to read because it's about a Lost Boy from Sudan. American Eve is interesting only in its subject matter and not its writing style.

- I really prefer to drive rather than be the passenger. Take that as you wish.

- If I could, I'd listen to music all the time, no matter what I'm doing.

- I love love love reality shows, especially the ones on VH-1. Judge if you must, but they're really funny. I have a whole new appreciation for Bret Michaels. He's more clever than people give him credit for.

- No matter how long it's been, or how long it will be, I still get excited when I see a VM from Him, His number on my caller ID, or when I first glimpse Him.

- I used to be a natural redhead. Now I have to pay for it, and it's worth every penny. I think red hair is the sexiest color on a woman.

If you've got questions, ask away. No guarantee that I'll answer, but I'll entertain the request.

To explore Him

I've had a few hours to think about how to adore Him in the way He does me.

I envision Him laying back, naked, across His couch. He's such a beautiful man. I know He doesn't always believe me when I tell Him so. His dark hair, His dark eyes, His gorgeous physique, tight thighs, strong arms, His torso, God, His entire body. I love it when He tells me that He's as much mine as I am His. I know that's not entirely true, if only because I don't want it to be. I want to be His complete possession.

Tonight, I want to approach Him from His legs. I want to run my tongue up the inside of His leg. I'll start at His ankle, with kisses and sucking, and sometimes looking at His face. As I get above His knee, I look up more often. I want to be sure that He enjoys this as much as I love getting closer to Him. Up, slowly, but not too slowly, running my tongue over Him, up and down. Teasing Him, tasting Him, oh, my God, tasting His skin in my mouth.

Finally, I reach His inner thigh. Now, as I move toward His left side, I smile as I get closer. I hope that He will twitch with anticipation as I kiss around, near, over His balls. I take that closer one into my mouth. I suck it into, deeply into, my mouth, as I pull it down and away from Him. I know He loves this, He loves the pain mixed into His pleasure. I run my fingernails, lightly, over His shaft and the neglected other one.

I open my mouth more, to run my tongue between His balls as I pull the other into my mouth. Mmmmm...I've got both of His balls into my mouth as I clasp His cock into my hand. Running my hand up and down His stiffening cock, I suck His balls even more into my mouth. I love using my tongue to separate them and pull them back together in my mouth.

I want Him to buck, to use His hands to move me from His gorgeous balls and onto His now hard cock. Yet, the sensation of His balls in my mouth makes me feel so perfect. I know I am His.

Finally, I hope He allows me to take His cock into my mouth. I will use my hands to massage, pull, play with His wet balls - wet from my mouth all over them.

I want Him to fuck my mouth deeply, so deeply, until I have tears in my eyes and a desire to take Him in even further. More, please, I murmur as His cock completely fills my mouth, my red lips, all of my desire. I look up at Him, to see Him throw His head back as He pushes my mouth harder over His cock.

You'll make me come, He tells me. Please, please come in me, I ask Him. I'm crying now, taking every stroke of His cock in my throat, as I continue to try to take more.

Oh, and when He comes, and calls my name, and coats my throat, my tongue, my mouth, with His come, I tell Him, I love you. I am yours.