I Want To Write

I've been hinting, well, more than hinting, about this, on my Twitter, about something that happened over the weekend. I really want to write out this fantasy. But even thinking it disturbs me. It crosses a line of which I've never had to consider. I feel so guilty for the thoughts and the feelings I have. Yet, I know that if I write it out, it would be out of my mind and onto this virtual paper.

I degrade myself as I make myself come with this fantasy. I think of the names I'll be called, and the names I call myself as I imagine this person with me.

While I consider the pros, cons, and (considerable) repercussions of writing about what's on my mind, know this: I have fucked myself over and over again with these thoughts. It's so wrong, but it makes me feel so good.