If you look at this site at all, you might have noticed that I've taken a hiatus from writing. Even longer than the last hiatus. I hope you'll indulge me for a few minutes and let me explain.
Just about everything I've written on this site is autobiographical. Not everything (but I'm hoping those posts were prophesy and not fantasy) is true, but most is. After a while, I began to run out of things to say. You may know that myHim lives far from me (for now), so there really is a limit on what I have to say. Also, it took me years to realize what I really wanted in a satisfying sex life, so older stories wouldn't have the same type of appeal. There's a reason why erotica gets extreme, right? Otherwise, we'd all spend our lives reading bodice-rippers and wondering if that's all there is.
To add to this, myHim and I have been struggling with how much of our life I keep private and how much I tell the world. Admittedly, I have a limited audience, but he is exceedingly private and isn't entirely comfortable with any sort of social media or web publishing. I want to respect his wishes as much as I want to share, so sometimes I stay quiet.
You should probably know about this exchange:
In the middle of a perfectly normal conversation one Friday night a few months ago, apropos of nothing, he yells, "ARE YOU FUCKING ANYONE ELSE?" "No," I answer. "Are you?"
That was pretty much the end of what is generally considered an open relationship. Now all games and others are confined within us, although we're always looking for willing partners.
So I plan to move this site in a slightly different direction. I will tell you the prurient details of some really fun, mind-expanding, and certainly painful sexual encounters, but I will also write of my life with myHim and separately, my own life. There are many changes coming, pretty rapidly, and I've got a lot to figure out.
I hope you'll join me.
4.6.11
11.1.11
Rest
As I'm lying still, on my side, I feel your hands move over me. I'm mostly asleep, but my body reacts to your fingers and I move closer to you. "Don't," you whisper, as your hand reaches lower down my stomach. "Don't," you say, as you reach between my thighs and your fingers graze my clit. "Don't," you tell me, as you start working me and everything in me wants to turn over and open myself more to you. The wetness I can feel, that you use against me, over, and over, makes me breathe harder.
"Don't you dare move." I stay still, trying to control my increasing need to pant and move. Finally, after minutes of adoration of my clit, do I feel your other hand pulling my torso over, and your breathe against my breast. My hips still balanced on each each other, the palm of your hand now forcing its way down to my clit, your fingers dancing around my pussy, your teeth biting my nipple, I find it hard to maintain the balance.
I'm waiting for you to pull my hips apart, to take what's yours. I want to buck against your teeth and your hand; I want to be more available; make every opening yours.
"Move, and you'll pay. You'll hurt for days." I know those words are true, so I stay still but begin to feel eruptions in my body. "Please," I whisper, because there's nothing more. You take your mouth from my erect, painfully red hipple and kiss me. "There'll be no more talk from you. Trust me."
"Don't you dare move." I stay still, trying to control my increasing need to pant and move. Finally, after minutes of adoration of my clit, do I feel your other hand pulling my torso over, and your breathe against my breast. My hips still balanced on each each other, the palm of your hand now forcing its way down to my clit, your fingers dancing around my pussy, your teeth biting my nipple, I find it hard to maintain the balance.
I'm waiting for you to pull my hips apart, to take what's yours. I want to buck against your teeth and your hand; I want to be more available; make every opening yours.
"Move, and you'll pay. You'll hurt for days." I know those words are true, so I stay still but begin to feel eruptions in my body. "Please," I whisper, because there's nothing more. You take your mouth from my erect, painfully red hipple and kiss me. "There'll be no more talk from you. Trust me."
1.11.10
10am, Saturday Morning
I feel wider, more open, more broken. I awake to the sound of light snoring, my legs curled around me, moving toward myHim. I know how to stop the snoring; light touches across his face, loving fingers draped across his neck.
It soothes him, and me, to feel the pads of my fingers on his skin. Once that’s done, I realize that I need release and upon doing so, I start to feel the pain.
He got so close last night; I could see the widest part of his hand inside me before I couldn’t take any more. I wanted it – I wanted his whole hand inside me, I wanted his cock deep into my ass, I wanted the thrusting into my cunt. Hard thrusts into me, no matter what he used or where he was. I didn’t think of consequences, I didn’t think of the pain, I surely didn’t think of the strange emptiness I have this morning without him inside me.
I didn’t think I would crave more even as I heal.
It soothes him, and me, to feel the pads of my fingers on his skin. Once that’s done, I realize that I need release and upon doing so, I start to feel the pain.
He got so close last night; I could see the widest part of his hand inside me before I couldn’t take any more. I wanted it – I wanted his whole hand inside me, I wanted his cock deep into my ass, I wanted the thrusting into my cunt. Hard thrusts into me, no matter what he used or where he was. I didn’t think of consequences, I didn’t think of the pain, I surely didn’t think of the strange emptiness I have this morning without him inside me.
I didn’t think I would crave more even as I heal.
15.8.10
Pain
When I run my hands over your body, I can feel you relax. You love the touch of my fingers, hands, my nails. Every morning, there's nothing I love more than feeling your body release under my hands.
Your painful torso loves my touch on your ribs. Everything on you hurts, my poor baby. I can massage your feet, your thighs, your back, your temples. When I rub on your head, I reach for your hair and pull. You relax when I pull your hair. There's nothing I love more than feeling your body move to my hands. There's nothing you love more than when I ask you if you want rubs.
Rubs is what we call it. I force my hands and elbows into your poor tired back, and when I do it right, I can feel you align. And breathe better. Then you fall back to sleep in my arms. And you are safe.
Your painful torso loves my touch on your ribs. Everything on you hurts, my poor baby. I can massage your feet, your thighs, your back, your temples. When I rub on your head, I reach for your hair and pull. You relax when I pull your hair. There's nothing I love more than feeling your body move to my hands. There's nothing you love more than when I ask you if you want rubs.
Rubs is what we call it. I force my hands and elbows into your poor tired back, and when I do it right, I can feel you align. And breathe better. Then you fall back to sleep in my arms. And you are safe.
19.7.10
Machine
I'm lying down, knowing that my punishment will come. It will come this time in the version of my own destrustion. Legs tied apart, lifted and wide open. Arms attached to the top of the table on which I'm strewn.
I've craved and worried about this for a while. Open and ready for the cock machine to have me. I cannot escape; I cannot do anything but take and take and take. I want it, but I don't at the same time. I am grateful to have no choice.
As the camera rolls, so does the machine. It moves in and out of me, a bit slowly at first, but then the jackhammering begins.
As I begin. I want to buck and move and avoid and enjoy, but I cannot. I'm held still, taking its every thrust into me. My pussy open for each movement. Although I don't mean to, I begin to get wetter and wetter as it has me. I can feel the camera recording my movements and excitement, as I finally begin to fuck this mechancial cock back. My movements are limited; I belong to the machine.
Is there anyhing better than being required to come on this?
I've craved and worried about this for a while. Open and ready for the cock machine to have me. I cannot escape; I cannot do anything but take and take and take. I want it, but I don't at the same time. I am grateful to have no choice.
As the camera rolls, so does the machine. It moves in and out of me, a bit slowly at first, but then the jackhammering begins.
As I begin. I want to buck and move and avoid and enjoy, but I cannot. I'm held still, taking its every thrust into me. My pussy open for each movement. Although I don't mean to, I begin to get wetter and wetter as it has me. I can feel the camera recording my movements and excitement, as I finally begin to fuck this mechancial cock back. My movements are limited; I belong to the machine.
Is there anyhing better than being required to come on this?
Tyra
I awoke from a nap apparently answering the questions from her quiz in my sleep, and I was seriously brassed off. So I rewound the show to the beginning and decided to answer her "cheating" quiz here...I'll be honest, so let's go:
1. Do you think all men cheat?
No. I think most men do, but I don't think all do. There can be a few reasons for not cheating, ranging from belief in the traditional form of relationships to being too afraid. Note that my final (perhaps) reason is because he doesn't want to.
2. Do you think all women cheat?
No. I would suppose that fewer women than men cheat. My reason for this is that the repercussions are much more real for women than men. Who catches the illnesses, generally? Women. Do gets pregnant? Women. (This is assuming a heterosexual cheat.)
3. Would you give some permission to cheat?
Giving permission negates the term "cheat". You cannot cheat on someone who's given you their permission, assuming honesty in the relationship. I have only my own experience on which to rely here - myHim cannot cheat on me unless he lies to me about it, and vice versa. Cheating inplies dishonesty, and I believe dishonesty is what pulls people apart. Trust is much more important than fidelity.
4. Is sexting someoe other thn your mate cheating?
I hope not. I don't think so. Do I love the idea of my partner talking sexy to another person? No. But I do it, and as much as I want to be a hypocrite, I cannot. I'd prefer not to know about this, however. I don't consider it cheating, consider it a part of flirting, and I think flirting with other people enhances one's own relationship.
5. Is it cheating if you kiss someone other than your mate?
Depends on the intent. A kiss, for fun or for a few seconds of connection, is fine. A kiss as a prelude to something else is a bit different to me. Call me generation Pretty Woman, but I can live with a whole lot of touching much more than I can live with making out.
6. Is it cheating if you flirt with someone else besides your mate?
NO!!! I believe that the goal of flirting between two parties is for both parties to feel better than they did before having that interaction. In truth, I get a kick out of watching myHim use his game, and I know he loves watching me at mine. Maybe that's the thing, though - we're mostly open about such things. I can admit to twinges of jealousy when he tells me a story, and he occasionally gets jealous of me. OK - flirting can be dangerous, so know your goal before you get into it. Or at least know where your loyalties lie.
7. Is a date with someone else besides your mate cheating?
I've been a fantastic wingwoman for myHim and gotten him dates. He has not done the same for me, but he knows that I date other people. My rule in this is the hierarchy: myHim at the top, and others in various positions. But no-one ever rivals him. So is it cheating? Not if we're honest.
8. Have you ever caught your mate in bed with someone else?
Nope.
9. Have you ever found incriminating photos in your mate's belongings?
No, but then again, I do not snoop. If I know any truth at all, it's this: Don't go digging into someone else's belongings. You'll find what you never wanted to know. And it'll be in a form you never expected. Why look for trouble?
10. Have you ever caught your mate having an online relationship?
No. MyHim doesn't have internet.
11. Have you ever found someone else's underwear in your mater's belongings?
No, but I left one of my bras at his place recently, and I cannot wait to get it back. It's my best-fitting bra!
12. Have you ever kissed someone else while you were in a relationship?
Yes. Probably every relationship I've ever had. I'm not good at the one-person-forever paradigm.
13. Have you ever had sex with someone else outside your relationship?
Please see #12 above.
14. Have you ever been caught cheating?
In the act? No. But caught? Sure. You can't act the way I do and expect to never get caught. I hate that I hurt other people, though.
15. Have you ever had sex with someone who is married?
Not to my knowledge. I cannot imagine that a man who wants to fuck me is going to tell me all about his precious wife, though. I have kissed a man I knew to be married though.
1. Do you think all men cheat?
No. I think most men do, but I don't think all do. There can be a few reasons for not cheating, ranging from belief in the traditional form of relationships to being too afraid. Note that my final (perhaps) reason is because he doesn't want to.
2. Do you think all women cheat?
No. I would suppose that fewer women than men cheat. My reason for this is that the repercussions are much more real for women than men. Who catches the illnesses, generally? Women. Do gets pregnant? Women. (This is assuming a heterosexual cheat.)
3. Would you give some permission to cheat?
Giving permission negates the term "cheat". You cannot cheat on someone who's given you their permission, assuming honesty in the relationship. I have only my own experience on which to rely here - myHim cannot cheat on me unless he lies to me about it, and vice versa. Cheating inplies dishonesty, and I believe dishonesty is what pulls people apart. Trust is much more important than fidelity.
4. Is sexting someoe other thn your mate cheating?
I hope not. I don't think so. Do I love the idea of my partner talking sexy to another person? No. But I do it, and as much as I want to be a hypocrite, I cannot. I'd prefer not to know about this, however. I don't consider it cheating, consider it a part of flirting, and I think flirting with other people enhances one's own relationship.
5. Is it cheating if you kiss someone other than your mate?
Depends on the intent. A kiss, for fun or for a few seconds of connection, is fine. A kiss as a prelude to something else is a bit different to me. Call me generation Pretty Woman, but I can live with a whole lot of touching much more than I can live with making out.
6. Is it cheating if you flirt with someone else besides your mate?
NO!!! I believe that the goal of flirting between two parties is for both parties to feel better than they did before having that interaction. In truth, I get a kick out of watching myHim use his game, and I know he loves watching me at mine. Maybe that's the thing, though - we're mostly open about such things. I can admit to twinges of jealousy when he tells me a story, and he occasionally gets jealous of me. OK - flirting can be dangerous, so know your goal before you get into it. Or at least know where your loyalties lie.
7. Is a date with someone else besides your mate cheating?
I've been a fantastic wingwoman for myHim and gotten him dates. He has not done the same for me, but he knows that I date other people. My rule in this is the hierarchy: myHim at the top, and others in various positions. But no-one ever rivals him. So is it cheating? Not if we're honest.
8. Have you ever caught your mate in bed with someone else?
Nope.
9. Have you ever found incriminating photos in your mate's belongings?
No, but then again, I do not snoop. If I know any truth at all, it's this: Don't go digging into someone else's belongings. You'll find what you never wanted to know. And it'll be in a form you never expected. Why look for trouble?
10. Have you ever caught your mate having an online relationship?
No. MyHim doesn't have internet.
11. Have you ever found someone else's underwear in your mater's belongings?
No, but I left one of my bras at his place recently, and I cannot wait to get it back. It's my best-fitting bra!
12. Have you ever kissed someone else while you were in a relationship?
Yes. Probably every relationship I've ever had. I'm not good at the one-person-forever paradigm.
13. Have you ever had sex with someone else outside your relationship?
Please see #12 above.
14. Have you ever been caught cheating?
In the act? No. But caught? Sure. You can't act the way I do and expect to never get caught. I hate that I hurt other people, though.
15. Have you ever had sex with someone who is married?
Not to my knowledge. I cannot imagine that a man who wants to fuck me is going to tell me all about his precious wife, though. I have kissed a man I knew to be married though.
23.6.10
Weekend Edition
MyHim invited his neighbor over for burgers and home fries. I had a bone to pick with his neighbor; he posted something not good on Facebook involving myHim.
So I thought. Until we met. Furtive glances, flirty comments, occasional touching. This man is younger, but so beautiful.
We went to the deck to talk and smoke, and once the conversation started, we all knew what was going to happen. I could barely keep my clothes on as we went back to myHim's apartment.
Tongues on me - both boys enjoying me. The neighbor went down on me, as myHim kissed me. Oh, the neighbor was good. Wet, with pressure, he made me start working my hips against him. That tongue made it perfect. He kept sucking my clit as he worked my nipples, and myHim kissed me over and over and I didn't know where to focus. So I let them focus on me.
Finally I got the neighbor on his back so I could pull his cock into my mouth, and I felt my hips moved into position. Yes! One man in my throat and another in my very wet cunt. And it was perfect. And that's exactly where I'm supposed to me, taking care of one man while being used by another.
So I thought. Until we met. Furtive glances, flirty comments, occasional touching. This man is younger, but so beautiful.
We went to the deck to talk and smoke, and once the conversation started, we all knew what was going to happen. I could barely keep my clothes on as we went back to myHim's apartment.
Tongues on me - both boys enjoying me. The neighbor went down on me, as myHim kissed me. Oh, the neighbor was good. Wet, with pressure, he made me start working my hips against him. That tongue made it perfect. He kept sucking my clit as he worked my nipples, and myHim kissed me over and over and I didn't know where to focus. So I let them focus on me.
Finally I got the neighbor on his back so I could pull his cock into my mouth, and I felt my hips moved into position. Yes! One man in my throat and another in my very wet cunt. And it was perfect. And that's exactly where I'm supposed to me, taking care of one man while being used by another.
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